from Wings & a Wand

Self-differentiated Leadership is where I will need to grow professionally in order to adhere to the “higher call” of required change.  I have actually seen an administrator do this in action. This administrator was hired to lead a campus with high turnover of teachers due to a toxic culture.  With intention, the administrator followed Friedman’s characteristics by having:

• a capacity to get outside the emotional climate of the day; 
• a willingness to be exposed or vulnerable; 
• persistence in the face of resistance and downright rejection;
• stamina in the face of sabotage along the way; 
• and a perception (by others with less resolve) as being “headstrong”(Bardwell 2010).

Within one year, the turnover dropped and other teachers in that district wanted to teach on this campus.  I am thankful to have been a witness to this successful change in culture to encourage me in my endeavors. After having worked with many administrators over the years and being placed in leadership roles, I found that it can get extremely lonely at the top especially if you are the change catalyst.

Personally, it is compelling for me to note that self-differentiated leaders resist being triangled with others in an organization by anxiety and issues.  These leaders are able to “tolerate” anxiety to allow for change and instill carrying responsibility.  Resisting the anxiety of others in a group allows for self-differentiated leaders to thrive in a toxic organization like my example.  When sabotage is high due to anxiety, it means that the self-differentiated leader is going in the right direction for change which is well worth remembering when staying the course (Bardwell 2010).

I truly understand that now in my career versus when I was a new teacher. It was said amongst some other core leaders watching the new school year play out in my example that those saboteurs would either “get with the program” or “get off the bus.”  That forecast was spot on. By the end of the year, there were a couple of staff that did transfer, but most of the naysayers ended up staying and blossoming under the new leadership. This encourages me that no matter how daunting the task your persistence pays off when you stay focused.

One item that every leader needs to remember is that change is stressful on the body even if it is a good change.  The human body doesn’t know the difference but experiences stress either way to produce anxiety (Cherry 2021). Therefore, a critical piece in being a self-differentiated leader is also to know when to have those “hard” conversations – those Crucial Conversations – along the way to ease anxiety and the behavior stemming from it.

Utilizing the Crucial Conversations process individually with participants to help them work through their anxiety toward change is important.  The seven steps in the process pave the way toward a more successful outcome. By starting with the heart; staying in dialogue; making it safe; avoiding the hook of emotion; agreeing on a mutual purpose; going with the facts instead of the story; and agreeing on a clear action plan to resolve the issue, the leader steers the conversation in a positive and supportive direction focused on facts and not opinion (Arnold 2013; Greeny et al. 2021).  Thus, the leader keeps issues from snowballing out of control by being proactive as the need arises with these conversations.

References:

Arnold, P. (2013, June 9). Summary of crucial conversations – Tools for talking when the stakes are high by Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan and Al Swizler Posted on June 9, 2013 [web log]. Retrieved April 30, 2023, from https://slooowdown.wordpress.com/2013/06/09/summary-of-crucial-conversations-tools-for-talking-when-the-stakes-are-high-by-kerry-patterson-joseph-grenny-ron-mcmillan-and-al-swizler/. 

Bardwell, M. (2010, November 10). Friedman’s theory of differentiated leadership made simple. 

Youtube. Retrieved April 25, 2023, from 

Cherry, K. (2021, November 1). How to get better at dealing with change. Verywell Mind. 

Retrieved April 25, 2023, from https://www.verywellmind.com/

Grenny, J., Patterson, K., McMillan, R., Switzler, A., & Gregory, E. (2021). Crucial conversations (2nd). McGraw-Hill Education.